Good Intentions
by Prettie Parker
Summary: Sometimes good intentions are all you have when your actions are so wrong... Oh The tangled webs we weave Dean/Haley/Sam
1. Chapter 1

**Note:** I wrote this as a two-shot. It's pretty twisted and meant to be heart tugging. Like nothing I've ever written before. It seems whenever I write short stories they come out this way… depressing, sorry.

I feel bad for all the characters. They're all selfish and a little weak, so maybe they have it coming. You decide.

Anyways, this is AU story, as Haley is Bobby's daughter, and never grew up in Tree Hill. So where did this story come from? Ugh... reading other fanfiction and re-watching first season. I've never written anything quite like this; go easy on me please...

**Warning:** This story contains adult situations. I would not recommend for children to read. Viewer discretion is advised.

Good Intentions

_Mmmm whatcha say, That you only meant well?  
Well of course you did  
Mmmm whatcha say, That it's all for the best?  
Of course it is  
Mmmm whatcha say? That it's just what we need  
you decided this_

They were a team, had been for as long as Haley could remember. Growing up a hunter's daughter didn't offer a lot of opportunity for friends. Other children were scarce in these parts. So the few times a year Haley got to see John Winchester's boys, was always something meaningful to her. They made up the best of her childhood memories. Those brothers meant the world to Haley. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for them.

A trio at first but as they grew older slowly it transformed to a duo. Like musical chairs, each time with a different partner.

Only one year apart, Sam was Haley's first love and visa-versa. First everything, they were crazy about each other. Like they felt dizzy when together, my heart skips a beat, crazy love.

They made the distance work until she turned seventeen and then she ran away with him. Dean resisted hiding Haley at first, but he was almost as crazy about her as Sam was. Eventually, she broke him down.

Bobby wanted to load the shotgun and go Winchester hunting, over his missing daughter and John almost did when he found Haley in Sam's bed one morning, but she had been secretly with them for so long there was no sending her back.

The trio all together, a force to be reckoned with, until Sam got into Stanford. Haley couldn't go but she knew it was Sam's biggest dream and he had too. Loving each other too much to watch what they shared slowly shrivel away, they cut it clean. When Sam left they were over.

Broken-hearted before belief, Daddy called her home, but Dean stood by her side, so Haley refused to leave.

The best friend Haley had always found in Dean never shined brighter than when he healed her after Sam left, instead of dumping her at her fathers doorstep and hitting the road.

They stayed like that for a long time, just best friends and nothing more, but one day it changed.

There had always been something between them, something electric and sensual but Haley had always been Sam's, so it was irrelevant and ignored.

Dean resisted 'them' the hardest. Haley knew it was out of loyalty to Sammy and his own personal demons but one day his will crumbled too. That year Haley and Dean discovered how deep love really ran, and not the puppy love kind but my heart beats for you, you're the reason I was born, kind of love. They became untouchable to anyone but themselves.

They didn't even tell anyone, out of fear others wouldn't understand but John and Bobby figured it out as soon as they saw them together.

Unfortunately it was a love that ran so deep, they drowned in its currents.

Then Sam came back in their lives, returned from Stanford worse for the wear. The trio reunited. Suddenly unfinished business and deep seeded insecurities surfaced, like a reopening wound.

Haley liked it, having her two favorite men by her side but every gift comes with a cost. She could only have one. Her choice would have been easy but Dean made it for her.

Now here they were, after spending another long day researching and looking around for what was killing innocent people in this quiet town. They had returned late to the sleazy motel for the night.

Dean and Haley in one room, Sam was in the other. Enough room for all in one but Sam said he needed his own space, nobody pushed. He had been away for over two years, things were different.

Dean had settled in for the night when he caught Haley's eye. Choppy blonde hair, trademark plain cotton tee-shirt with a flannel on top, but it was his scent that filled the room with an intoxicating fragrance. One that called to her from a place only he could reach.

Watching him lounge on the lumpy mattress, lost on basic cable, the sight of him stung and fluttered Haley's heart.

Every part of her wanted to go to him, wrap loving arms around him and feel his secure ones return the sentiment but she couldn't. Dean wouldn't let her, she wouldn't let herself.

He had made the choice for them, now they had to live with it. As soon as Dean decided they were going to try and bring Sam back after Jess's death, he broke it off with Haley. Saying, he wouldn't shove it in Sammy's face, it was his brother and they were better as friends anyway. She agreed with a somber heart because Haley could see in Dean's piercing green eyes, his stubborn mind had been made up and part of her knew he was right too. He also insisted Sam never know about them, always protecting his baby brother. Dean pressed he wouldn't understand, she was forced to agree. To this day Sam still didn't know.

What they shared, had been deep and intense, it terrified them both and if they were honest they'd admit that was a big part of why they had run away from the relationship.

Haley held onto the faint joy of knowing while she had lost Dean as her partner, she at least kept her best friend.

Hypnotized by the image of Dean lying on that bed, his arms folded behind his head, the sight of his form captivated Haley in ways it shouldn't. Unable to look away, her chocolate eyes roamed over the sexy intention of his muscle tone hiding under his shirt like a hidden treasure. The strength of his long arms and remembering how they felt around her, the perfection of his profile, all taunted her deepest longing.

Dean caught her staring at him out of the corner of his eye and beckoned Haley to him with a tilt of the head. Easily she went, never able to deny him.

Reaching him at the end of his bed, Dean sat up to meet her with a smirk that brought crimson to her cheeks.

"Would your boyfriend approve of you looking at me like that?" He teased; the devilish grin on his lips told her so but the look in his green eyes said he liked it when she looked.

He's not my boyfriend, Haley thought but Dean already knew that. Sure they had recently become intimate again. A fact she felt sure Dean didn't know but it was only because she had to heal him. Haley was giving everything she had to try and pull Sam from the dark place he had fallen. She had never seen him so lost.

After Jess was murdered, part of Sam was too. Sure his body lingered on, for all outward appearances he was passable, but those who knew him, knew better.

Haley would never forget the night Dean went to her. Once Sam picked up the bottle and wouldn't put it down, that was the final straw for Dean; everyone could see Sam was downward spiraling. Sick and tired of watching Sam not sleep, Sam grow dark and vengeful. His little bother slip away, suffocating in his own guilt and grief.

Dean had gazed upon Haley one night, with his penetrating green eyes that saw right into her soul.

The full moon had hung over them like a spot light. Fix him, he had said, whatever it takes, just fix him.

Dean didn't elaborate more, it hurt too much to tell her that already, but what he wasn't saying had been clear in his tortured eyes.

In some sick twisted way Haley thought, if she could just get Sam back to normal, Dean would see the light about them. Now Haley saw the error in her ways, too little, too late.

The weight was upon her shoulders, Dean couldn't reach him, he tried but she could.

They had shared something special once. Sure it was ancient history; water under the bridge but Sam still let her touch places no one else could. They knew who each other were at the core of their beings, had most of their lives.

_Leave me out with the waste  
This is not what I'd do  
It's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you  
It's the wrong time for somebody new  
It's a small crime and I've got no excuse_

Rolling her eyes at Dean's snarky 'boyfriend' comment, Haley laughed lightly and began to step away thinking the moment was over.

That's when his hand caught hers. With gentle easy, Dean pulled Haley near; needing her like the stars need the moon.

Her heart jumped to an erratic beat as without a word, Dean lifted her onto his lap.

Her legs nestled on either side of him, Dean trapped in-between. Haley forced her gaze to stay on his calling green eyes as she willed her breath to stay even.

They lingered like that as the moments passed, nothing but eye contact and silence between them.

Chocolate and green orbs intertwined with everything they'd never say, couldn't say. Words bursting with unfulfilled love, that burned inside every time they looked at each other, but because they were terrified by the depths of these feelings they'd never bring those words to life, not now.

Haley loved Dean more than she had ever loved anything, but she couldn't have him, not like this.

The tangled web they had weaved was treacherous and dangerous but even they knew where the line was at. One or the other but never both, they were brothers, it wouldn't be right for so many reasons. Since Sam seemed stitched to her, was wilting away by himself, and Dean wouldn't budge an inch, Haley felt like her hand was forced.

Missing him, she reached out and lightly touched Dean's short tipped blonde haired. The texture soft between her finger tips. Haley smiled softly with the way her heart always felt full the closer they got.

"Would you ever run away with me?" She dared to ask, her eyes pinning him with the weight of her words. The unspoken love shined in her chocolate eyes.

Dean's strong hands moved smoothly from her hips, and traced her shape in his palms, before slipping under her shirt, to settle at her waist. Dancing along the line, but next truly crossing it.

Staring into her eyes unable to look away, completely mesmerized by Haley, he answered quietly.

"No," Dean had to be honest with her, but she could see in his green eyes from inches away, he wanted to. Sam was his brother, his life long responsibility, he'd never abandon him.

Her hand stilled with his locks still in her grasp, then let go, like she was suppose to, Haley's heart sunk with this impossible situation. Constantly having to remind herself at least she had Dean, even if she didn't Have him.

"Why?" Dean spoke up as he cupped her cheek in his course textured palm, seduced by the soft suppleness of her skin.

"Would you?" He asked, voice deep and rough, but they both knew they were walking on thin ice, and needed to step back before they fell threw.

Her heart pierced with his voice and screamed with her answer, Yes!

Haley's eyes closed for a moment, the exuberant yell inside of her soul had to silenced.

Quieting her inner turmoil with a deep breath, Haley's beautiful chocolate orbs reopened. Capturing Dean's gaze as it waited for her, Haley held it steady, and gave him the answer she couldn't have lied about even if she wanted to.

"Yes," Haley whispered with an ach in her heart as the words slipped from her lips.

It would have been easy to admit the truth and fall into each other's arms, taint the sheets but then they would have crossed a line there's no returning from. That would be a secret that could never stay hidden forever and when Sam found out, it would destroy everything their lives as a cluster had meant together. They both loved Sam too much to sacrifice him in the name of their happiness.

Her gut fluttered with Dean's closeness, Haley wanted him like air to breathe. Unable to stop herself, her hand lifted to his plump pout and delicately brushed one of the places she loved most on him.

Their eyes stayed locked as Dean's lips lightly kissed Haley's finger tips. They could feel their will unraveling by the second but deep in their hearts, neither felt a desire to pull away. An urge pushed them, with everything that had been building between them since Sam's return

Their faces slowly inched closer together, unable to fight the feeling, a destination in mind, a hunger to cure.

Then reality came knocking at the door, literally, and the moment slipped away like a leaf in the wind.

Quickly Dean gripped her waist and rose from the bed, bringing them both to their feet.

Their eyes met once more, disappointment clouded both their gaze before he spoke. "You should get that."

Nodding somberly, Haley went for the door, already knowing who would be behind it.

There Sam stood in the dark, faintly illuminated by the yellow porch light that came with every room, torment drowning his whiskey, puppy dog eyes.

"Couldn't sleep," Was all he said but they both knew what he meant, why he was here this late at night.

Silently Haley nodded with understanding, leaving the door open for him; she walked back in, deeper into the room.

Grabbing his leather jacket off the chair beside the standard motel table, Dean threw it on.

"Yeah me neither, think I could a use drink right about now." He announced, knowing it was time for him leave, not that he'd want to stay and watch. They hid it from him but Dean knew. He had known since the first night. When Sam was having a particularly guilt riddled evening, Haley had gone to his room to try and get him to calm down. Dean had heard an occasional hollered word from Sam as he carried on, but then later that night the walls talked again. To a different tune this time, Dean knew what had happened.

There was somberness to his eyes if Sam looked up from his feet, past his own gloom but Dean wanted it hidden from Sammy.

Passing his younger brother, Dean patted his back, as Haley called his name. "Dean."

Turning to face her, something fractured in his pupil caught her eye and ached in her heart. She could see he knew something was going on between her and Sam. She just prayed he didn't know everything.

"Don't wait up." He spoke casually with a grin, as if unfazed but his eyes always revealed the truth.

His words said she shouldn't worry about him, because he didn't plan on spending the night alone. His eyes said, he wanted to stay here with her so bad it hurt.

Watching him leave, Haley knew every time Dean went out to forget her, another piece of their love burned away. The ach in Haley's heart throbbed; she could practically feel him slipping through her fingers.

Bruised but not completely broken, Sam's sensitive heart was still in-tacked underneath all his grief; he noticed the look in Haley's eyes as the door shut.

Stepping to her, Sam reached out and gently touched her cheek to draw her attention.

"Hales, what's wrong?" He questioned with genuine concern.

Haley's eyes shot up to Sam, his sympathy touched her where it hurt. She didn't blame him, or hold ill will against him. What she and Dean were doing, they were doing to themselves, that wasn't Sam's fault. Out of all of them, he was probably the most in the dark.

Seeing how much Sam cared for her, shining bright in his pupil. The gentle way he had always looked at her since childhood, Haley softened and a small smile returned to her face. "Nothing, I'm fine," she reassured.

Pulling his hand down from her cheek, Haley clasped it in her own and led him to her bed. She forced him to sit on the edge, so their eyes could meet and she could have a good look at him.

In better light, in the late hour, Haley could see Sam hadn't slept in days. The dreams must be getting worse, she thought. There was something alert and agitated about him but also something exhausted and beaten down too.

"How many days?" She asked quietly as a gentle hand combed his dirty ruffled hair from his eyes.

"Three," He reluctantly answered, Sam would have lied to Dean. Always trying to appear stoic and strong like his big brother but he knew better than to pull that with Haley. She accepted nothing but honesty from him.

Worry clouded Haley's gaze with his answer as her hand gently settled on his cheek where a fading bruise still lingered.

"Sammy…" Her hushed breath ached as she placed a nurturing kiss upon his forehead and pulled him into a comforting hug, one he easily gave back. Seeing Sam like this scared Haley, she wasn't sure how to make the pain stop for him but his eyes had told her what he needed tonight. A needy weakness in his pupil, altered from his usual wanting look for her, but Haley would know that look on Sam a mile away.

Pulling back from their embrace, Haley locked with burdened whiskey eyes, as a worried smile edged on her lips for Sam. She did love him. After everything they had been through, part of her would always love him but it was a different kind of love then before.

Knowing and seeing he was hurting, Haley had to do something. So she gave everything hoping it was enough. It wasn't just these random night visits, she took care of him. Making sure he consumed something other than coffee, didn't do something dangerous and get himself killed

_Leave me out with the waste  
This is not what I'd do  
It's the wrong kind of place to be cheating on you  
It's the wrong time she's pulling me through  
It's a small crime And I've got no excuse_

Stepping back until she leaned against the worn down, dresser across from him, Haley looked to the right of her shoulder, and spoke up.

"We were just watching TV. We could do the same, see if you get tired, or we could talk for awhile, or…" Haley purposefully left her statement open ended as her chocolate orbs turned back and captured Sam's.

In that moment she already knew what he wanted. The set up always the same, she'd never ask for it, it had to be Sam and it couldn't be a regular thing. Only when he'd avoided sleep at all costs, he'd come to her to lull him to sleep because up until Stanford, they had always taken care of each other.

Slowly her hand crept out and hooked Sam's much larger one. Rising to his feet, Haley led him near as her breath grew anxious, picking up with the impending moment.

Silently, Sam's arms reached out to touch her. Lifting her onto the dresser for a better height difference, before hesitantly moving over her figure with the temptation, Haley waited for him to give the word as her heart began to pound with the expectancy.

Eyes locked with anticipation, Sam nervously nibbled on his lip. Shy by nature, one of the things she adored most about him. His lips parted and a low, quiet breath escaped. "Or…" He nervously answered with a timid, twitching smile, his trademark grin that always sent butterflies stirring inside.

Giving Haley the answer she already knew was coming, why he showed up at the door at all this late hour, she banished all thoughts of Dean deep from her mind. Filling the hollow places in her heart with Sam, in a way he seemed to need.

Pulling him close, Haley wrapped her arms around his neck. Tall and sturdy like a tree, Sam's branches secured around Haley.

Stepping in between her knees, their lips crept together. It had started out slow and sensual on the lips, because they were always a little unsure when first reopening that door. Quickly the kiss grew hungry and needy, this wasn't about love. Sam didn't go to Haley because he was in love with her, and she knew that. He did love her, just not in that way.

Sam needed to hide under her skin, escape inside her; from all the things he couldn't bear to feel another second. She'd let him because that was what he needed and she loved him enough to give it to him, to fix him.

Her familiar sweet scent and sexy figure always pushed Sam's buttons. The way she knew just where to touch him and how to move with him, quieted his tormented insides like only an old lover can. His mouth traveled hard down her neck, as Haley closed her eyes and let herself get lost in it.

Rapidly pulling off her cloths that got in his way, Sam was broken but not blind as the sight of Haley got to him the way it always did. She was stunning in his eyes but in a natural way, just how he liked it. Like a waterfall undiscovered, deep in the forest, untainted by mans hand.

"God you're beautiful, Haley." Sam confessed off a heated rapid breath as his hand lovingly brushed her bare shoulder. Taking a moment to appreciate her with clear and lucid whiskey eyes, there was emotion in this for Sam. He never could fully detach sex and intimacy. That's why it was Haley he craved under his lips, caressed by his palms and not some random bar slut.

Their eyes caught in that moment and a quick infectious laugh left her lips as Haley lightly shook her head, golden silk hair swaying in the movement.

"Shut up, Sam." She smiled up at him before pulling his lips back in to reignited the burning embers. Wrapping her legs around him as he carried her to the bed, Haley silenced Sam from saying things that only complicated the situation more than it already was.

It wasn't slow or tender, in contrast to the way Sammy normally made love, but they weren't making love.

Twice her size in height and strength, it was like a tsunami crashing on the beach, Haley held on for the ride. Sam would take what he needed but make sure she reached that delirious, explosive peak. While also letting out everything he could, and the pain would go away for a little while. For that night he'd sleep. Nightmares banished in the after glow.

Haley didn't feel used; she got to take out her garbage too. She knew Sam loved her and they knew each other too long for cheap misunderstandings. She was offering and he was accepting.

Haley knew Sam would do the same if she needed it, not that she would. This was more of a male way to escape from your demons. Even though if Haley could look past her own denial, she'd see she was running too.

They had known each other too long, been through too much, to not be there for the other when they needed them most.

Soon the room grew hazy with rhythmic noises and heated breaths as they collide together in a raw primal way. They won't look into each others eyes as they do it, like a shotgun wedding, it's too dangerous and forced.

Then they'll collapse on the bed, completely spent. They won't cuddle, that's too close to feeling something neither wants to feel for the other, but Sam will kiss her sweat glistened forehead tenderly with thanks. Too terrified to touch her lips after the transaction has been completed.

Sam will pass out in the sheets on the opposite side of the bed, finally getting some rest.

While Haley lies awake, trying to live with the things she's done, how far she's fallen. Tugging her cloths back in place, she'll lie on top of the blankets wondering where Dean is, until sleep comes calling. Heartbreaking, she'll wonder what or who he's doing, all the while knowing, it's her just desserts.

They made their bed, now they have to lie in it… or be buried under it.

_Is that alright? Give my gun away when it's loaded  
Is that alright? If you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it  
Is that alright? If I give my gun away when it's loaded  
Is that alright  
Is that alright with you?_

_No...  
_

_Schuyler Fisk, "Fall Apart today"& Imogen Heap, "Hide and Seek"_

I felt this situation was so complex, the character's needed a bit more explaining and understanding. So I'll included my personal assessment of the character's state of mind during this story.

Psychological profile of the above characters:

Sam: Sam is full of grief and fear. He isn't thinking straight. He can't face the day to day life without Jess. He can't face knowing all the dreams he held for them are gone, like ashes in the wind. He can't face all the emotions that come with losing someone you love forever. And he's also terrified. Terrified by his nightmares and the fact that whatever killed his mother, also killed his future fiancé. If that isn't personal, what is? So Sam's running. Running from everything inside of himself he can't face, with endless work, self inflicted insomnia, and Haley. She is the only female figure left in his life and he loves her but not like he loved Jess. She's always has an open arms policy with him and he always let her in. The sex is merely a physical manifestation of Sam's need to escape reality, get his blood pumping, and let off steam. The same adrenaline pounding he seeks out from the hunts.

Dean: Dean is paralyzed by fear. Growing up like a gypsy, never really making connective ties to anyone but his family and Bobby's family. Dean's terrified of commitment. He doesn't even know what it looks like, and he was fine with that until Haley. Once he became involved with Haley, it was like seeing the light. A light so bright it filled his whole being, and consumed his soul. It left him quaking in his boots, so Dean did the thing he learned best from his nomadic life, he ran away from it. The only time he had ever seen love that strong, was the kind that his father held for his mother and look how that ended. His mother died, his father went crazy. When Sam returned almost unrecognizable, Dean felt helpless and desperate. He knew he had to save Sam, it was his job. So he made a choice he could hardly live with and shoved Haley into Sam arms. Hoping Sam would move on and get better. Hoping that one day, he'd forget he loved her at all.

Haley: Haley is torn and beaten down. The Winchester brother's are her heart and soul, her biggest weakness. Seeing Sam come rushing back into her life, hanging on by a thread, she couldn't sit idly by. They have all this finished business between them, and a past, she'll always love him in one way or another. So they're trapped in a co-dependant cycle, because he comes to her, metaphorically on his knees, certain she can make it better. Haley isn't capable of turning him away. Then on the other hand, she's madly in love with Dean. A man she had given her heart and soul to, to only have him turn her away and push her to Sam. Since Dean's left her there's a gaping hole in her heart where he use to be. A hole Dean keeps festering because; he says one thing to her, but his eyes say another. He's become this impassible road block. He wont let her back in, and she can't get over him.

Sam & Haley: Really, there is no Sam and Haley. There was and it was a very meaningful relationship for both of them. One that ended abruptly when he left, now that he has returned abruptly, all these old feelings and issues are getting stirred up. Beyond just their past relationship, they also grew up together and are friends. So in Haley's attempt to support Sam through his loss of Jess, things got out of hand. And now they're caught in a viscous cycle, because they're both running from something.

Dean & Haley: Are in love with each other, but because of what's going on with Sam and Dean's insecurities about relationships, their feelings have been forced back into the 'friends' box. Problem is, it doesn't fit there. They don't love each other like friends, they love each other more. Haley wants him back but Dean won't budge. So they're trapped in limbo. They have all these feelings and emotions swirling between them, but no way to extinguish them or let them out. So they're destined to explode, and when they do, everyone including themselves will probably get hurt in the blast.


	2. Chapter 2

Rains When You're Here & Rains When You're Gone

_This thing is breaking down, we almost never speak  
I don't feel welcome anymore  
Baby, what happened? Please tell me  
'Cause one second it was perfect, now you're halfway out the door_

Haley had reached her limit; the well had finally run dry. She didn't have the will to fight anymore. Mind made up, she's was already long gone, miles away in her mind.

Lying awake in bed, the cold empty sheets her only company, as silent, thick tears rolled down her cheeks with the loss.

Her face half buried in the pillow, Haley tried to stay quiet. So Dean wouldn't hear her, as she mourned the loss of what was already gone. She had lost him, a man she loved with her entire heart. He was growing angry, resentful with her, there was no denying it.

Haley's heart ached in her chest, knowing she deserved it, the damage already done.

Four days ago, Haley ended it with Sam. That was the beginning of her end. She kept him vague on details, but made it clear, she couldn't do this anymore. What she didn't say, was she didn't see him the same anymore, didn't see herself the same anymore. This twister circus had cost her, her integrity and her respect for him, but she was done playing now

No one was winning, as they slowly destroyed the companionship they had shared all their lives.

Broken into pieces like Humpty-Dumpty, in ways it couldn't be put back together again.

He could hear her, as Dean lay silently in the bed across from hers. His heart ached with every ragged breath she took. Her tears always brought a memory back to him, from when they children.

One overcast afternoon, when they were playing in the scrap yard, Haley had fallen and cut her knee. Dean remembered how her big tears had stung his heart even then, as he picked her up, and carried her back to the house. The way her lower lip would quiver, and her breath would shutter. He couldn't stand the sight of it, it broken his heart every time.

Dean hated having to deal with tears; something about the raw emotion in them set him on edge. Like the sight of blood could send another man to the floor, but he also loved Haley too much to listen to her suffer.

Unable to listen to her another moment, Dean finally spoke up. "Haley, I can hear you. What's wrong?"

The sound of shifting sheets, and stifles hit his ears before her voice filled the room. "Nothing, ignore it." Haley lied with a detached breath, trying to detach herself from him. If he didn't already know what her tears meant, she couldn't explain it him.

Wiping her damp cheeks, Haley tossed the covers off, and went to hide in the bathroom. She made it two steps from the bed, before he caught her arm. Haley turned back around to face him in a flash, and was surprised to already find Dean behind her.

His piercing green eyes upon her, the mixture of pleasure and torture began to swirl inside with his closeness.

His voice came quick, raspy with the night. "I can't do that, you're crying." A softening filled Dean's green eyes for her, as his hand reached up to gently wipe a tear she had missed from her cheek. The sight of that tear was like an arrow, piercing his heart.

_It rains in your bedroom, everything is wrong  
It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone  
'Cause I was there when you said forever and always_

That indescribable thing in Dean's eyes, that said he loved her, came to shore. Haley could barely look at it. She didn't understand how it could still be there after everything. This situation was killing her, and destroying everything they shared.

"Tell me you don't love me. Tell me, and I'll never ask again. I'll let all of this go." Her voice begged him to end the prolonged suffering, but something deep in her eyes pleaded with him to prove her wrong.

Looking into her chocolate orbs, seeing how badly she was hurting, Dean finally saw the error in his ways. He finally saw how badly he had cut them by pushing her away.

His heart pounded with the choice. Dean knew he should lie, because he started this, he should see it threw. Only more damage would come from revealing the truth, but no matter how hard he tried to deny it, his heart beat for her. So he could never lie to her.

"I can't say that. I can't lie to you. You know it's not true." Dean finally admitted, as his hand quietly found her cheek, needing to touch her.

Her face tilted into his touch, relishing the way it felt warm and healing against her skin.

Dean watched her eyes flutter closed for a moment, as his heart raced for her. His blood pumped harder with the feel of her near. Dean felt himself crumbling. He felt himself wanting something that wasn't his right to have anymore, not after the way they had hurt each other.

When Haley opened her eyes, she saw 'that look' of his waiting for her. The look he always got when he really wanted her, like she was the only woman in the world.

"This isn't a good idea." Haley warned him, as her face inched closer to his with a will of its own. Losing herself in a moment she knew in the morning would only make her skin feel dirtier and more used.

The air suspended as she neared, and Dean knew without a doubt, he didn't have to will to turn her away this time. "I know." The confession fell from his lips, as the truths just kept slipping out.

They shared a breath as the distance disappeared, then the world stopped turning as their lips finally brushed.

Light but sensual, it was just the tip of an iceberg compared to what lied beneath.

They pulled back slightly, as their eyes met. Both looking for doubt in the others orbs, but like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, none could be found

The spark lit, as they came back together again, assured and needy this time. Like a firecracker something exploded between them, something that had been building for a long time, and held an earth quaking force.

They fell to the bed, tangled in each other. Hurried but not careless, every inch of skin needed to be blessed with a touch or tender kiss. The emotion was thick, with everything they had done to each other, but here, in this moment, it didn't hurt. It was like forgiveness and goodbye all in one.

It killed the night, the melody of their re-found connection. The way it felt like a religious experience when they found each other, eye opening and reborn. Their eyes locked, as their souls connected.

The dry deserts in their hearts were once again quenched by the storms of loving rain.

For one night, wrapped in each other's arms, connected in every way, everything was right in the world.

Haley awoke early the next morning, before the birds had even begun their song.

Groggy eyes, shot awake, and alert as she realized whose bed she was in, who lay beside her in the sheets. Remembering how they had come together, fulfilled her dream, but also only complicated things worse. Knowing they'd have to hide this, pretend it never happened, Haley couldn't bare it.

She knew what she had to do. She had known for days now, but it wasn't until this moment that she found the courage to do it.

Everything moved in a whirlwind after that. Her sins hit her fast and hard, Haley suddenly fully realized she didn't like the person she had become. She couldn't live with the person she had become, and that bond she had been fighting for with the Winchester brother's, was now so badly disfigured and riddled with lies, she didn't know what she was fighting for anymore.

So she ended it all. Packing up her duffle bag, Haley planned to escape with barely a word goodbye. A brief note for Dean that summed it up the best she could, "I'm sorry, please try to understand."

People had warned her long ago not to get involved with those Winchester boy's, that she would only find heartbreak at the end of that road. Haley finally saw they were right.

_So here's to everything coming down to nothing  
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core  
Where is this going?  
Thought I knew for a minute but I don't anymore_

Her duffle bag hung on her shoulder, full to the limits, as she crept out the front door, while Dean continued to snore from the bed.

She had barely shut the door, when his voice caught her.

"Going somewhere?" Sam questioned, the surprise easy to catch in the hitch of his voice.

Turning to face him with sheepish darting eyes, Haley was taken off guard.

"Sam," The startle undeniable on her breath, but she still tried to play it off, as if she were unfazed.

Sam looked at Haley for a moment in disbelief. He didn't know what he expected would happen when he knocked on that door, but watching Haley sneak out, wasn't what he pictured.

"You were going to leave without saying goodbye?" Sam asked rhetorically, with saddened whiskey orbs, something thick on his breath.

She didn't say it, but Sam could see it clear as day. Where she was going, she wasn't coming back.

Looking down at her feet that tapped the pavement nervously, then back up at Sam, Haley's heart shot into gear. She could only image how this looked to Sam.

"I don't belong here. I should have left a long time ago." Haley finally admitted, with a heavy breath, as she captured his puppy dog eyes. She couldn't lie to Sam about this, not when she was trying to reclaim herself, come clean.

Sam nodding wearily, deep inside he understood. They had crossed lines, broken sacred vows, there was no going back. There was no choice, but to call it a loss and cash out.

Haley stared up at Sam with resolve, a man she held so much history with. A man she loved dearly and yet now after everything, could hardly look in the eye without feeling something cheap in her gut. Giving him a weak smile that barely touched her lips, Haley turned to leave.

Sam caught before she could get too far. When Haley turned to face him, he pulled her in a fiery hug for a final goodbye, because part of him loved her too, always would. Even though Sam could admit, he knew they had tainted everything between them. Friendship even sounded like a stretch, distance their only safe option.

"I'm sorry for ruining everything. You didn't deserve that. Take care of yourself, Haley." Sam spoke his farewell into her shining brown locks that smelled of spring rain, trying to hold his emotions in check.

Haley pulled back quickly, and Sam released, but her chocolate eyes shot up to him with a word of her own. "Ditto," Was all she could muster. "And take care of Dean." A smile finally found her lips, with the final chapter written.

Standing numbly for a moment, Haley's eyes scared with the unknown, looked up at Sam one last time, wanting to remember his face. Wanting to remember the good they once shared.

Tucking away what was worth remembering, Haley turned, and walked away. Never looking back.

Sam's heart ached, as she watched her grow smaller in the distance. Saddened it had to end this way. Knowing she had become another example why the Winchester's couldn't make connections. Why this life was so hard.

He turned away from her image before she could disappear. Knowing in his heart, she had been long gone for awhile.

When Dean awoke, and found Haley gone. All that remained was her note, the guilt and anger settled in.

He sat stunned on the bed, fidgeting with the crinkled paper, blaming himself. Knowing he shouldn't have crossed that line with her, then Sam came walking in the room.

"Haley's not with you is she?" Dean asked numbly, even though he already knew the answer but a splinter of hope had to try.

Seeing his brother so hopeless, Sam's heart went out to him. Suddenly Sam was beginning to realize he didn't know what Haley meant to Dean at all.

"No," Sam answered with a somber tone, hating to be bearer of bad news.

"She's gone. Haley left for good." His voice distant and detached, as Dean stared absently at the TV that wasn't on. His heart aching with every breath, knowing she was truly lost to him now. What they had done, all of it, she couldn't live with, and ran away instead. Truth was, he didn't blame her.

Sam's eyes softened for his brother, lost in pain. "I know… I kinda caught her." Sam admitted with a heavy weight in his heart. The morning replayed in his mind, and Sam couldn't help, but be plagued by the pain in Haley's eyes. A pain he had seen for months in her chocolate orbs, but it wasn't until this morning he fully understood. He couldn't help, but feel responsible, as the ugly moments they shared resurfaced in his mind. Looking at his brother, seeing the guilt in his focused gaze, Sam knew he wasn't the only reason she left.

Heated eyes shot up to Sam. "And you just let her leave?!" Dean barked, shifting gears into aggression. It felt safer, more comfortable in his skin then the wallowing, lonely throb in his heart.

Sam expected the anger, but his shoulders still tightened with the roughness of Dean's voice. "She wasn't going to be stopped." He said simply, with a shrug to his shoulders.

Going for the door, sensing his brother could use some time alone, Sam turned back at the last moment. He had been torn about telling Dean, since Haley left, but Sam couldn't hold his tongue on this. It would slip out sooner or later, so Sam preferred to be direct and honest for a change.

"Sleep well last night?" Sam brought up gently, needing Dean to know that he knew. The timing was terrible, he could see that, but Sam knew there was no way he could hide this from Dean.

Dean's face shot back up to Sam, something suspended in his green eyes, but his trademark guard was locked in place.

Sam didn't want to fight, but he needed the truth out there. The truth that he knew about them, that they weren't just friends.

Reaching out, Sam knocked on the plaster wall twice. "Thin walls." He spoke cryptically, but the underlying message was clearly spoken.

Without another word, Sam showed himself out the door. Judging by the look in Dean's eyes, Sam knew he must need to digest this one alone. Truth was, Sam needed his own space too.

_It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone  
I was there when you said forever and always_

You didn't mean it, baby

_Taylor Swift, "Always & Forever"_


	3. Chapter 3

I Can't Let You Go

_By my side, you'll never be.  
By my side, you'll never be._

Bobby's found his baby girl on the doorstep, returned home five years after running away, duffle bag in hand. Sadness pooling in her chocolate eyes, tail tucked between her legs. Daddy took her into comforting arms, and welcomed her home.

Bobby's had questioned his daughter about what had happened, why she finally moved back, but Haley stayed vague and neutral. Saying simply she couldn't live like that anymore, missed home.

Being the most emotionally in touch out of the two brothers, Sam called first. Three days later insisting on speaking with Haley, to see how she was doing. Bobby's suspicions perked up when Haley refused to speak to him. Understandably, Bobby grew worried, and angry that Sam had done something to cause the lingering hurt in his daughter's eyes, but Haley told a sliver of the truth with a heavy heart. She told her dad it wasn't the brother's fault, it was hers, and she couldn't face them. Looking into her eyes, he'd always see her as his innocent baby girl, so Bobby took her word.

Three months later, Haley's transgressions came back to haunt her with a life alter force.

Dean finally got the nerve to call her one month later. Haley had answered the phone by chance, and a Winchester finally got to hear the sound of her voice. Like pulling water from a rock, Dean forced the apology he needed to give her from his lips.

Haley easily accepted it, and returned the words, as stifles choked the telephone line. With a broken heart, she told him she never blamed him, wasn't his fault, but she couldn't go back there. Then Haley gave Dean a head spinning blow, like being hit with the barrel of a gun. She told him she loved him, probably always would, but that she never wanted to see him again, and if he loved her, he'd respect that, and stay away.

Dean being Dean, accepted her rejection whole sale, no questions asked. Something about being thrown away always sat well with his inner self loathing.

Bobby had told the boys, he would always be there for them if they needed him, but out of respect for his daughter, they weren't welcome at the house anymore.

That's the way it stayed for five years. The Winchester brothers were only brought up in hushed tones at the Singer house. Haley pulled herself back together. Rebuilt her life there, focusing on family and helping Bobby out with whatever he needed. She put up sturdy walls around herself, so no one, but her family could get in. She had learned from her mistakes, and worked to find herself again.

After the first year, Haley's name became forbidden between the brothers. They had managed to overcome the betrayal they inflicted on each other, because at the end of the day, they were all they had. The hurt still lay scared underneath it all. You could see it in the brother's eyes every time they had to call Bobby for help, but couldn't go to his house. You could see it every time they passed somewhere they had once shared together, but tongues stayed silence. Only haunted memories and regrets played in their minds.

_You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again_

_You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again_

Then the day came that would change everything forever. Fed up with the secrets, he didn't think were right to be kept, Bobby called the boys, without telling Haley. He told them to come to the house, quiet, and unannounced.

The brothers were hesitant, after all the bad blood spilled, it sounded like a suicide mission to them, but Bobby had insisted. A man they saw like a father, so the brothers had to go.

Bobby had met them out front, by the gate when they arrived. It was a warm summer day, the kind that filled the skin with heat, and made it glow.

Without warning or explanation, he sent the boys to the scrap yard; with a vague message, it was time to heal old wounds.

Bobby knew Haley would be deeply upset with him for this. Hell, he might even loose her if it didn't play out right, but Bobby's felt those boys had a right to know. Especially the youngest one and he didn't mean Sam.

They could hear the clanking noises and familiar melody of her voice before they reached her. The brothers rounded another pile of rusted out cars, and spotted Haley off in the distance. The sun radiated off her beauty like a spot light, as she leaned over a car with no hood, salvaging what parts she could for her old man.

They moved slowly toward her, an unspoken hesitancy in their step.

Stopping a few feet behind her, dirt swirled near their feet as Dean took a deep breath and plugged in, now or never.

"Hey Haley," Dean's rough, raspy voice filled the otherwise nature filled air.

His green eyes could see her back go visibly rigid with the sound of his voice. She turned slowly to face him; the fear he had seen in her body language matched the look in her chocolate eyes when he caught them.

Haley stood frozen like a stone, as if unable to move, her startled eyes darting between the brothers. Something pained, and ashamed filled her pupil, as all her sins came back to brand her with a scarlet letter.

A grin edged on Dean's pouty lips for her; trying to put her at ease. He knew things had ended badly, but he had hoped they didn't end so badly the mere sight of him would hurt her.

Haley's heart began to race with the sight of his trademark grin, glint to his green eyes, and it amazed her that even after all this time the mere sight of him could stir such emotion from her soul.

Then the fog lifted, and everything became undeniably clear, as the repercussions of that year they had destroyed everything, came out of the shadows with a bang.

Center stage, catching everyone's attention instantly, a little boy appeared, climbing out of one of the cars. Scurrying to his mother's leg, he wrapped tiny arms securely around.

The world stopped, as the brothers took in a sight they were least prepared for.

Scruffy golden hair shined in the suns light. Little piercing green eyes shot up to Haley, as her heart warming smile filled the boys face. "Who's that mommy?" The little one asked.

Suspended in the moment, it took Haley a second before she could move. Tears welled up in her eyes as she caught Dean's bewildered stare a few feet away. Reaching down, Haley picked up her son, and held him near for strength.

Their gaze locked with a million unspoken words and questions. Both their faces suspended in shock and disbelief.

Sam's whiskey eyes were still dilated at the pupil, as the sight of that little boy stilled the breath on his lips. Seeing Haley wasn't looking at him, his gaze flashed back and forth between his brother and Haley, sensing this was their moment. Even though doing the mental math and guessing that boys age, he wasn't certain who that child belonged too, but Sam's gut told him he knew.

Bobby hated forcing repentance on his daughter, but it had to be done, her wounded soul needed it

Three months after Haley returned home, she had found out she was pregnant. Without judgment, Bobby had asked his daughter if it was Sam's. The oblivious candidate as far as Bobby knew.

Going with the assumption, Haley lied, and said the baby was Sam's, because she didn't have the courage to tell her father she didn't know.

_'Cause I'm fake at the seams,  
I'm lost in my dreams, and I want you to know,  
that I can't let you go._

Bobby had stood by his daughter's side, kept her secret. Bobby couldn't say he was completely surprised by the turn of events. Honestly, the only shock was that it hadn't happened sooner. She had been living with Sam off and on for five years.

Then John Robert was born, the brightest of lights, the greatest of gifts. He gave Haley purpose and reason. She healed her and gave her strength, so Bobby let sleeping dogs lie.

It wasn't until his grandson was six months old, that Bobby couldn't keep his tongue held any longer about the obvious.

"Johnny is Dean's, isn't he?" Bobby dared to ask his daughter, one quiet night as they lounged by the fire place, after putting the little one to bed.

Haley's shame filled eyes darted to her father, but only for a moment, before she pulled them away to the safety of her hands, she rung in her lap. Unable to look at her dad, when he found out how far off the map she had really traveled.

"I think so… but it's hard to say." Haley admitted the truth on a quiet, disgrace burdened breath. Knowing in her heavy heart, the fact that Johnny looked just like Dean could mean he was his son, or could just be a family resemblance

It killed Haley to know there was no way of truly knowing without a test. That she had no one to blame, but herself for that, because the mother she was today would never have that kind of question hanging over her head. The woman she was today wouldn't drop to such lowly depths.

Tension coursed through Bobby's veins with the truth he hadn't expected her to give. "You're telling me you were involved with both of them at the same time? Haley Joy Singer, I raised you better than that." The unnerved disappointment was hot on his aged breath, clear in his narrowed gaze.

"Dad," Haley let out with a heavy sigh, eyes glistening with tears. "It wasn't supposed to happen like that… It just did, but its ancient history now. So just let it go, Dad… Please, just let it go." She begged him with burdened chocolate eyes. All her old wounds reopening as she rose from her chair. Her chest fluttered with regretful emotion, before she went off to her room. Shamed by her actions, and how they made her look. Still hurt she had destroyed her chance with the only man she would ever love, and now is raising a child who doesn't have a father.

That was the first time, Bobby saw his daughter differently. Like maybe her wasn't the angel he always assumed she was. Maybe she was just flesh and blood after all.

Bobby kept the secret until the voice inside him grew too loud, and he knew the boys deserved to know, most of all Johnny. When Johnny started asking about where his dad was, that was the final straw for Bobby.

Now here they were, five years of distance between them, one soul created in the union.

The Winchester brothers stood speechless, as they recognized the young boy embraced in Haley's arms held features that belonged to Dean. Even though he also held touches of Haley too.

Haley lowered the boy in her arms to the ground. "Go see grandpa, baby. Mama's need to have a grown up talk." She softly instructed, smiling down on her him as she lovingly ruffled his blonde hair.

Well behaved, the little boy scurried off for the house.

_I wanted to tell you I changed.  
I wanted to tell you that things would be different this time._

I see you, you see me, Differently. 

The trio stood their, reunited and yet even more torn apart. The questions hung in the brothers eyes. The million dollar question hot between them, which of them did that boy belong to?

Haley wiped the guilty tear that slipped from the corner of her eye. Being brave, she finally saw her dad was right, she had to face this.

Taking steady steps toward them, Haley stopped just in front of them. Her heart pounded harder with every inch that brought her close to Dean, all the old feelings for him, resurfaced and alive with his presence. The urge for friendship and trust, swirled as her briefly caught Sam's eye.

The shock still hadn't worn from their faces, when Dean finally found the nerve to speak.

"Yeah know I don't know a lot about kids… Hell, I don't know anything really, but I'm sure that one looks just like me." His rough voice spoke numbly, with a hint of deflective humor, but Haley could see in his green eyes he was terrified.

Her lower lip trembled with the way she felt like a lower women, having to face what was once her beast friend's, holding the same question in their eyes. Knowing they both wondered if they were the father of her child.

Perfectly in sync, the brother's gaze drilled her in unison, and a smile finally edged on Haley's face. She had forgotten how amusing their similarities were.

Building courage, Haley didn't say a word as the moments passed. Taking a deep breath, she found her inner strength, as chocolate orbs fell to Dean's green with unspoken words.

The birds chirped over head, the tress rustled, the sun beamed, and a long held secret was finally revealed in her gaze.

**The End**

_Unkle Bob, "Swans"_


End file.
